The Fire Within

I sure hope you weren't thinking as soon as the election was over things would get back to normal. We shouldn't be shocked by how things are going right now. And we shouldn't think things would be any different had the results gone the other way. Based on how close the election was in so many states it is clear how equally divided we still are. Where we go after the disagreement will tell us what our future is going to look like. Our country is an organization, like so many others. Like any organization it has conflicts and decisions to make. Not everyone is going to agree with every decision. Say you are launching a new product, some think it should be green, some think it should be orange. In most organizations, before you decide on the color, you have a discussion, listing the pros and cons for each choice and trying to make the best decision you can. When the company decides it is going to be green you have people that might not get behind the decision, waiting for the ...

Last week we took my daughter on her first college visit to the University of Nebraska Lincoln. We had been in Lincoln and on the campus a handful of times the past few years. As we drove around a bit then toured the campus my wife and I both commented how, though we couldn't explain it, Lincoln felt like home.  Thinking about that feeling and the word home. The feeling for me is a sense of serenity and butterflies in the stomach. There is just a sense of joy and peace being in that place. Each of us have places that feel like home to us. It can vary for each person. It could be the place you live now. Many people when they go to the town they grew up in have that feeling of being home. For some they have a dream of one day living in New York, Paris or London. Others have that vacation spot they visit once a year and when they are there it is just like home. As I think of my daughter going off to college and the adventure of life beginning for her, the idea of home becomes more pre...

I was thinking about the word excited recently and how things can seem unexciting and routine lately. We have our routines, get done the things we need to, but is any of it exciting? Probably not. So what does excite you? What gives you energy? What motivates you? What do you look forward to? If we don't have something that is exciting, if we are just going through the motions in our same boring routine, aren't we just wasting our lives? Fear plays a part because the things that excite us are usually the things that require the most courage. The best example of this is when I met my wife. I realized this was a person I wanted to know more, to date and eventually ask to marry me. Of course it was exciting, and definitely scary. Your heart starts racing, palms get sweaty, wondering how she feels. Scared to put yourself out there for fear of being rejected, wanting to do it anyway because there is just something about her.  Too often we listed to the fear, and we rein ourselves in...

All of us have flaws. All of us have things we want to improve on. It is a slippery slope we too often fall into where all we see is what is wrong with ourselves and we forget or overlook the things that are great about the person we see in the mirror. God created you and He doesn't make mistakes. When you believe you are less than what you truly are, it is the same as telling God He doesn't know what He is doing. God doesn't make mistakes. We need to change the words we tell ourselves and ensure there is a positive undertone. We need to be our own best coach because the voice we hear the most is our own. Instead of saying, "I'm bad at..." we need to tell ourselves, "I want to get better at..." The first one is just complaining, insulting yourself. The second one is an action plan, a goal, something to work towards and achieve.  If the voice in your head was a person, do they act like a best friend? Someone to tell you the truth in a kind way but is ...

It is interesting to see how people react to the new world we live in. Even more interesting is how people react to others reactions. Social media is an interesting space, it always has been. You have the people who seem to rip on everything and love to argue without facts. A time like this, full of fear, anxiety and a host of questions has only compounded the problem. You also have many people who try to spread positive or uplifting quotes and nuggets of information, just trying to help people make the best of this terrible situation. Sometimes those paths cross and it is an interesting look at human nature. I was reading a post from an author that is known for being very positive, some might even say he is over the top, he's a Pollyanna. He shared a post about how we have a choice in how we react to the situation we are in. Someone came back at him and vilified him for stating such a thing. When there are people losing jobs, getting sick and losing loved ones to tell them it wa...

This past weekend I was lucky enough to see Dear Evan Hansen , a great musical by Steven Levenson with music by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul (they did The Greatest Showman and many other projects). Besides the music being amazing, it has such an interesting story that deals with suicide and how easy it can be for people to feel alone or forgotten. It is a very dark topic to say the least but I believe almost everyone has felt like they were alone at some point in their life. We can live in a cruel world, full of bullying and hate speech on every corner of social media. We all know that not everyone in this world will be our friend or even like us. It is easy to fall into the trap from there where you start feeling like nobody likes you and you have no friends. I know I've been at that point in my life, feeling like I was all alone, wondering if I disappeared, if anyone would even notice. The closing scene of Dear Evan Hansen gives us the perfect response for when we feel that way...

When we make mistakes it is easy to see ourselves as the issue. When people point out our mistakes it is easy to get defensive or beat ourselves up. It is easy to see issues as the people themselves and that is what our society likes to do today, but it isn't about the people, it is about the issue. My kids make mistakes, and when they do sometimes I get mad or disappointed. Often they feel hurt and will tell me that it feels like I don't like them. I tell them that I love them and that what I don't like is the choice they made. I'm not mad at them, I'm mad about their decisions I think most parents think and feel the same way, yet when it comes to the people that we work with or go to school with, we think of them as the issue, when it really shouldn't be any different. We need to start recognizing that people are people and issues are issues and treat each appropriately.

I was at the grocery store recently and I had the opportunity to help a lady who had her hands full put her cart away, it literally took less than ten seconds of my time. I walked away thinking about how good that smile and thank you felt. I realized something about myself that I hadn't ever really given much thought to, how much I like being kind to others. I don't know how much of an impact it really has on a persons life, but I hope that in a world with so much negativity that I can make a small positive impact. If you think of your own life, I imagine you can think of some random acts of kindness that someone did to you, and most importantly you remember how it made you feel. I had to make an appointment one time and the receptionist made a comment about getting things setup with the important person, and I told her that she was the most important person right now because without her I wouldn't get an appointment. I imagine that she has a difficult job at times, deali...

We celebrated Martin Luther King Jr. Day yesterday and I think it is an important holiday that doesn't get the attention that it deserves. Not only is it important to remember what this man did in our nations history, but more importantly remembering the ideals and principles that he asked that we all believe in. Our world today is filled with so much hatred and vitriol, fed by media conglomerates that play to their demographics desires. Martin Luther King Jr. desired for our nation to hold onto the ideals that are stated in the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence. Freedom and equality for all is something that we still don't see in our nation.  In our schools and workplaces lines are drawn and allegiances are formed in battles over status, power and ego. Darkness and hate seem to be winning in our world, but the secret weapon is you. Each of us have the ability to simply choose to be light and love in the world we are a part of, no matter how big or how small. ...

I get asked this question more times in a day than any other. It is the easiest greeting when passing someone in the hall, "Good morning, how are you?" The cliche goes that most people don't actually want you to answer in any way other than fine. They either don't want to hear how someone is doing great or they don't want someone to bring them down who isn't doing so well. The fact of the matter is we all have days that aren't so good. The days where it feels like you have no friends. The days when it feels like nobody at work likes or respects you. The days when it feels like anything you say or do is wrong. The days when you feel isolated and all alone. The enemy tries to get us to think that we are all alone, but we never truly are. There are people beside you in life that will be there for you. There are people in your life that you need to be there for them. Sometimes you give and sometimes you receive. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 says, "...encourag...

I love social media. Well, I love a part of social media, the part that directs you to inspiring nuggets and words of wisdom, all the rest of the garbage I could care less about. Recently I came across Levi Nelson, or  @RLeviNelson on Twitter. Many of his posts have #LEAD in them which stands for Love, Effort, Attitude and Discipline. I love what these four words represent. If you want to be a leader, a really great leader, you have to have these four things in your life. You need to love the people you lead, if you don't care about them you won't do whatever you need to for them to succeed. You need to put in the effort, nothing in life worth having ever came easy, no matter how easy it looks for others. You need to have a positive attitude. You need to have discipline because there are no off days. I probably realize more today that too often we see great leadership as charismatic and inspirational. It would be nice to have those qualities and it certainly helps to get peo...

I believe we are at an interesting time in our country and the history of our world. There are countless narratives going on now that are dividing our country. I don't want to get into a political debate, so if you are wondering what I'm talking about read any news stories that have a connection to race, religion, gender, political party, sexual orientation, nationality, class, etc. The list goes on and on when it comes to topics that people feel passionately about and argue endlessly. As all of these things are swirling, the thought enters my mind about what I want to teach my children. As part of the next generation what will they believe and know about the discord in the world?  Before they try to determine who is right and who is wrong, I would hope they remember these 3 things: Don't judge others - all of us are human and susceptible to our sinful nature. Even though we want to believe there are levels to how bad a sin is, there is no differentiation betwe...

I am appalled and remorseful of what has become of our country. The things that have transpired the past few months and the conversation around them: Charlottesville, Las Vegas, and the protests of the treatment of fellow citizens of this country, just to name a few. Think of your social media feed and the comments section on the articles you read about it. Never ending arguments of I'm right, they are wrong, here is a post to like that says you agree with me. Everyone is building a wall, every post is a brick that makes it higher and thicker, keep your enemies out and separate from those that think like you. It breaks my heart that we are a country building walls because we are so divided and so outspoken about our hatred of those that have a different opinion. I don't know where I found it but an article by Zoe Zorka about our culture of hate perfectly captures what I'm thinking. It is so easy today to spread hate, and social media makes it easier than ever. It isn...

I have three girls, ages 5 to 14 and there is something interesting that I've observed in the older two. The way they talk to their friends in person and on social media, the word love is used frequently. It isn't just my girls, they all talk that way with each other. "Love ya!" "I love you so much ____!" "Love you too!" When I first heard it, I will admit it made me uncomfortable, it seemed a little odd to me. I was asking myself if they could really understand what love was as they threw the word around as easily as hello. Then I remembered that as a guy, I really don't understand girls. I never have and have determined I probably never will. So I decided to ask my wife. I didn't remember ever hearing girls talk to each other like this but maybe it was some secret girl thing that they couldn't let boys in on. She didn't recall hearing the word love used a lot between friends when she was in school. From my observation the nex...

One of the greatest pieces of wisdom I have ever received on how to properly lead people is, "Speak the truth in love." Now many don't want to talk about love in the same breath as managing or leading people, they don't believe in that touchy feely stuff. Others probably won't want to hear that I found it in the Bible in Ephesians 4:15. Just give me a moment though and you will see, probably from your own experiences, why it is so simple and so powerful. Put yourself on the receiving end of some criticism, you have probably had these types of interactions with people before: Someone that is being honest with you but it is brutal. You walk away realizing it is true but feeling worse about yourself in the process. There are feelings of anger and resentment to the person in all likelihood. Someone that says all kinds of nice things to you but you find out later that it wasn't the truth in how they really felt. You felt good at the time but you end up feel...

I'm not sure why I'm on a fear kick lately. I've noticed that I've written a number of times recently about fear and how it consumes us ( here , here and here ). It is natural for humans to be afraid of things. I always thought it was okay to have a certain level of fear, like the kind of fear that makes me want to do a good job at work so I can stay employed and provide for my family. But it isn't fear that compels me, it is the love for my family that wants to provide for them. I think Jon Gordon said it best in his book  The Carpenter : "If you build your life and company with fear, it won't be worth building. In the end you'll look back and realize you didn't enjoy any of it. It will never be what it could have been and you'll likely burn out before you finish. And even if you do finish, anything built with fear will eventually crumble. ... Remember, fear is draining. Love is sustaining. Fear is short term. Love is long term. Fear appears...