The Fire Within

I realized I use the term perfect storm a lot. I think of it when a complex set of variables all come true to create a low probability outcome. If any one variable had been different the outcome doesn't happen. The intended definition of perfect storm is a rare set of conditions happening. If it is supposed to be rare, I'm the unluckiest guy in the world based on the number of self proclaimed "perfect storms" I've been in. So maybe they aren't all perfect storms, but they are negative situations. Situations that arise because of a number of factors lining up to create the situation. Looking back on those times it is easy to look at it and say, "If only one of those factors had been different we wouldn't be in this predicament." Perfect storms hit us in all kinds of ways in our life. It doesn't have to be this monumental or impossible task to be able to track all of the variables to see the warning signs there is danger ahead. We say we only n...

Do you ever wonder what would happen if our society today was faced with a situation like World War 2? Would people of this time be known as the Greatest Generation part 2? Do you ever wonder what our world would look like if large segments of the population at the time decided to not take the smallpox vaccine or the polio vaccine?  I have felt a downward shift in our society's unity over our lifetimes. Part of me felt like a crisis of the scale of COVID-19 might be a spark our society needed to unite us, bring us closer together. Then I read articles about the numbers of people not planning on getting vaccinated and the impact it could have to actually eradicate the disease. The longer it lingers the more it will mutate into other strains. There is a reason we see influenza come back every year, because a new set of strains run through our society.  Most people don't get their flu shot every year, and it is perfectly within a persons rights to deny getting vaccinated for COVI...

As many choices we have to make in life it is easy to find yourself living with regrets. You have the memories which pop up, making you wonder if you made the right choices. Saying, "if only" too many times. Choices come up and sometimes we have to make quick decisions, with little information, hoping you have enough to make the right choice. Instantly second guessing yourself the minute there is no going back. We all face choices, and with those choices we have to make decisions. In our life it is guaranteed that some of the choices we make are going to be the wrong ones. Having three girls in various stages I witness first hand the choices they have to make, and know they can and will have an impact on the course of their life. We've all faced them in our lives, and likely continue to in some ways. Who to make friends with. Which activities to join. Which sports to play. Which classes to take. Where to go to college. What should your major be. If you should go to colleg...

What a difference a year can make. Last year in March people were scarred, there was a dark cloud hanging over everything. It was unknown how bad the future might actually get. And of course, toilet paper was impossible to find. But a year later, hope is everywhere. It is spring, it is supposed to be in the 70's for Easter weekend, our daughters are returning to the stage for dance, we have avoided getting sick thus far and my wife and I have our appointments for our first dose of the vaccine. And of course, toilet paper is readily available in any store. We are still a long way off from things being like they used to and this virus and the new strains have their risks that don't disappear. But the risks come with hope now rather than hopelessness.  I've talked before about how there is always some hope . Sometimes it is our responsibility to also manufacture some hope for ourselves, and for those around us. We all need hope, sometimes that is all we have left. Luckily it ...

It is always good to learn from others. Seeing others successes and mistakes and learning from them to better yourself is how we continue to evolve as a society. Each generation building on the previous one. If we hadn't done that we would still be living in caves trying to figure out how to start a fire. Learning from others is one thing, copying is something completely different. This falls in the same vane of just wanting to be given the instructions or the script to follow so you don't have to think for yourself. I see this all the time in software development. The way the Internet is about anything you want to do is available as sample code that you can download and modify. There are entire applications whose source code is available. You can even download Linux and try your hand at modifying an operating system. When everything is available on the Internet, it becomes super easy to just copy code to try and solve the problem you have. It makes total sense. Why waste hours...

One of the biggest traps we fall into is needing to be told what to do. Managers like to create user manuals, employee training, and scripts on how to answer customer questions. This generally trains employees to follow the procedure and ask their manager when it deviates from the documented flow. What happens when it is a problem or question without a defined answer?  I was thinking about this with March Madness and how a basketball team draws up plays, yet great teams know how to stay within the framework of the play yet adapt to the needs of the current situation. Maybe the play is designed to drive to the lane but your opponent has a 7' tall center waiting to block your shot. Maybe the play is designed to hit your shooter beyond the three point line but he is having an off night. In football a running back has a play designed to hit a certain hole in the offensive line, but if the defense clogs that up they need to find another opening to gain yardage. Every sport has a playboo...

When things are going well, you feel great, your confidence is soaring. Confidence leads you to be more energized, bringing high energy usually causes things to go well. Positive energy is a real thing. The more you have the more you send out, the more it comes back to you. But as things are going well it is easy to fall into a trap. Feeling like you have King Midas' touch and you can do no wrong, you start getting cocky and missing things. You can topple very quickly from that mountain top you are on if you aren't careful. When things aren't going well for you, you feel miserable. You feel like everything that can go wrong does. Your confidence wanes with every misstep and problem you face. You become hesitant, overanalyzing every decision and second guessing yourself, expecting your next decision to end in failure causes you to make none. You are caught in a spiral, trapped in a low pit with no way out. Be confident not cocky. Humble but not timid. It is inevitable you wi...

There is an old saying in business, the customer is always right. Ask anyone in business though and you know the customer in fact is not always right. The customer wants what they want, but that doesn't make them right.  Since that saying doesn't work people have tried to come up with ways of saying the customer isn't always right. A number of years ago I heard someone giving a talk and they said the customer isn't always right, but the customer is always true. What they tell you is the truth, or at least what they want you to believe is the truth. I've been in a number of interactions with customers where they state something wrong. It isn't always a lie, sometimes people forget. It might not be intentional but it isn't the truth so that can't be right either. At the end of the day the fact remains the customer wants what the customer wants, and if they don't get what they want they can always take their business elsewhere. Does that mean a business...

Each of us have a certain amount of weight we carry. By weight, I mean our responsibilities, contributions to society, serving our families and workplaces. There are things each of us just need to get done. As a leader, you are in a position where you take on more weight. As I was thinking about this my mind went to weight lifters, or any type of strength training. As people get stronger they are able to lift more weight. Take a simple example, doing push-ups. If you haven't done them in a few weeks, months or even years, the first time you try to do them, maybe just getting to 10 is a chore. Your arms are shaking as you push yourself up and you are astounded at how out of breath you are. But you keep doing them every day. Pretty soon your arms don't shake any more, you can crank out those 10 with no change in your breathing. You realize you can now do more than 10. So you push yourself and keep getting stronger. Day by day your total increases and suddenly you are doing 20, 30...

I will never deny being a manager of people is hard. When I say manager there are multiple jobs that fall into this category, not just the boss at work. Teachers, coaches, parents and mentors are all in the same group when it comes to overseeing, leading, guiding, and influencing other people. It is hard because every human being is unique and bring their own personality and baggage with them. But just because it is hard does not allow you to be a lazy when it comes to managing people. A lazy people manager does three things: They don't have the hard conversations with individuals - They would rather address a larger group, in a passive aggressive way. Broadly pointing out behaviors they expect to change. The problem is when you address a group the people that most need to listen to it are thinking to themselves they are fine, and you must be talking to someone else. You need to pull the individual aside and let them know specifically what the expectations are and why they aren...

I truly believe human beings are incredibly selfish creatures at our core. There is something inside all of us that causes us to want to take care of ourselves first. There is probably something in our core as a mammal which makes us prone to a base flight or fight mentality. Of course we aren't surviving in the wild or being hunted, but it is still in our nature. You see it when we compare ourselves to others, it is that same base instinct coming out.  For most people, when they recognize they are being selfish the want to ensure they are not viewed that way. Doing the little things like saying please and thank you, acknowledging to others when we fall down, and helping others out counter balances our selfish impulses. Two things come into play, causing us to show our selfish nature. One of course is the fact that we are selfish at our core, it is a base characteristic we have. The other is understanding when we are under pressure our base habits and traits come out. Pressure can ...

I was thinking about experts recently. One of the reasons it was on my mind stemmed from the COVID situation and how much we think about what the experts are saying. We desire experts to provide us all of the answers and to never be wrong. Many are frustrated because different experts and "experts" have made different claims on how things will go over the past year, and they are continuing to make predictions for a go forward plan. Chances are no prediction that is perfect, some are closer than others, but it is impossible to predict the future. Yet when it doesn't happen like you expect the expert gets ridiculed. Being an expert does not mean you have all the answers, you just have more than most of the people around you. I see this at work, for myself and for others. At my company I've become the so called expert on a couple of platforms. The main reason is because I was the first person to start working with them so I simply have the benefit of having a head start....

Just because you passed the last test you aren't guaranteed to have the same success on the next one. Yet you always have winners that get cocky. The hare stops to take a nap because it expects to win, and we know how that turned out. I see this in dance with my girls, they often compete with others groups from our own studio or see the same studio and dancers at another competition. How they placed last time doesn't mean anything. You have different judges and different levels of performance. Finding success in the past should encourage you though. You know that you are capable of doing it, just need to recognize it isn't guaranteed. You still need to put in the work and effort that got you there last time. You might need to do even more because this time the competition recognizes you are the defending champ. Nothing in your past guarantees anything for the future. Past success doesn't guarantee future success anymore than past failures have no indication on if you wi...

I hate email. Which is kind of unfair, because my real issue is any type of communication when it is inefficient. Today we have so many different methods of communication. On a typical day at work I will get messages in email, Teams, Slack, Basecamp, three different service desk ticket systems, project tickets and issue logs. Every tool has its purpose and value. I work in a world with different clients and vendors who all have different preferences and tool sets. I don't really mind it. What never ceases to amaze me though is the number of times I will get a message in one medium asking if I saw a message in another.  Now, to be fair, I'm probably just as guilty as the next person. I can recall sending a Teams message to a developer asking if they saw the update in Basecamp and if they need me to create a Jira ticket for it. That is insane. Here are the rules I try to live by to hopefully make sure I'm not adding to the problem any more than is absolutely necessary. Other ...

Back when I was in school, we often did this exercise where we would have to review a fellow classmate's work. We were taught how to point out things they do well and to share our thoughts on something that could be better. Constructive criticism is what we were taught that was. How to tell someone that something needed to be better without making them feel bad. I think we've lost site of that as a society. It seems like if you on one side you are not allowed to criticize anything. If you are not touting it as the greatest thing ever, perfect in every way, then you aren't a true fan. On the other side, if you are against something you have to shout from the roof tops that it is the most wicked creation that has ever existed on this planet. Of course I'm thinking some about politics, but maybe politics is just reflecting the state of our society that we react this way over everything. Employees aren't allowed to criticize anything about their work. Teammates can'...

If you've been a reader for some time you know how I love the idea of dichotomies. Things like how often our greatest strengths can also be our greatest weakness. Recently I've been thinking about emotions at work and how they are both a positive and a negative. There are many sayings about not taking things personally and getting upset. "It's not personal, it's just business." What a load of crap. Tell it that it isn't personal to the small business owner when the big box moves into town. Tell that to the person that just got passed over for a promotion they've been busting their tail for. It is virtually impossible to not react emotionally in those situations. In my career I've had every emotional state. I've felt anger, joy, jealousy, boredom, happiness, pride, ambition, fear, surprise and disgust.  It is good to be passionate, but you can't become so overzealous that bumps in the road consume you. You can't be so frustrated that you...

We all face obstacles, every day. Part of why I look for things that inspire me is because it gets too easy to focus on the things blocking our path rather than the things making us believe we can get over the obstacles. No persons obstacles look the same, but we can learn something by watching others and how they handle their obstacles. Even when they don't look like ours it could give us ideas on how to overcome them. Part of why I like studying a broad array of subjects is because there are always lessons to find and apply elsewhere. I've done that a lot with dance. Having three daughters who dance tends to dictate the amount of time you spend talking about and watching dance. You learn stories and then you see things that jump out at you, like this clip of a young dancer. Dream your dreams. Live your dreams. Best thing you’ll see today... pic.twitter.com/Mt8fbPCcps — Rex Chapman (@RexChapman) February 4, 2021 Watch the clip again and think about whatever the problems are y...

I live in a very competitive house. My wife and I don't really play games together because neither of us like to lose so it tends to get a little too tense. Being great parents and all we have passed that competitive spirit down to our kids, who all stomped off after losing in a kids vs. parents Pictionary grudge match. My girls also dance so they have had it ingrained early from their very first dance competition. Competition is just a part of life.  Competition is funny though because it can be a good thing, but if taken too far or not looked at correctly it can become a problem. You see on any team you have internal competition and external competition. For instance in sports, you have competition on a team where you have to see first who is going to make the team, then when you figure out who your starters are going to be. So the competition is also your teammate. When you are teammates you then need to work together to beat the competition. Whether you are the starter or the b...

I read an interesting fact posted by @chrisderose  about the show The Wonder Years , which premiered 33 years ago in 1988. The show depicted events 20 years earlier in 1968. A similar show today would be set in 2001. His tweet about this blew up because it is crazy to think about. I, like so many, remember watching that show growing up and it seemed like it was based on events from so long ago. It makes me wonder, did my parents recall those events as easily as I can recall events like 9/11 or the hanging chad of Bush vs. Gore?  I was thinking of music the other day when I realized I was listening to the "oldies" station playing music from the 80's and 90's. I remember growing up listing to music from the 50's and 60's, I spent some time searching for a station that played that era of music and I couldn't find one near me. You could find a channel on Spotify or Amazon Music of course, Alexa would serve it up for me no problem.  Things change as does our pe...

We are all busy, so busy we miss opportunities to do the things that will really add value. We all have things filling our day which feel like the make our lives more hectic, and in reality most of them we likely don't need. But we do them anyway.  They are put there either by others or by ourselves. It is easy to complain about the things given to us by others. The report you have to write or the project you need to take care of. You often wonder if anyone actually looks at it, would anyone notice if you just didn't do it. Then there are the things we create for ourselves that make us busy. Nobody is forcing us to do them, but it is important for us to do them for whatever reason we believe. No matter the source of the task, the hard question always needs to be asked about the value of a task. Maybe it is a task that doesn't seem important but it is like pushing the button on Lost every 108 minutes, if you don't do it catastrophe could follow. But if there is no value ...

I've been reflecting on leadership recently. There are lots of definitions, quotes, anecdotes and stories about what good leadership looks like. We often speak of it in the simplest form as the person in charge. But we all know that isn't where it ends because it is easy to spot people that are in charge but are not good leaders. If you asked people to expound on what leadership means they would likely say things about someone who inspires, motivates, creates a vision, helps people grow, and communicates.  For all the words and ways we have to explain what leadership is, it is still one of those things which is very hard to describe. There are so many definitions used, or often times the descriptions are vague. Yet everyone knows it when they see it. I think it is because leadership is more of an emotion.  Think about it, if you had to describe what happy or sad mean, you end up using other emotions to describe them. If you are happy you are joyful, excited, the opposite of sa...

We all know that it is good to get feedback and of course there are two types of feedback. There is the positive stuff, the things people tell us we did well. When they are proud of us and slap us on the back for being great at something. Then there is the negative feedback. What all of us say we are open to hear but never really like. The things we didn't do so well. Where we need to improve. The hard truth on the thing we most want that is never going to come to fruition.  It seems like today things are either too soft or too harsh. We get soft when we coddle people and dance around the hard truth just because we don't want to hurt their feelings. On the flip side there are the people that don't seem to care at all about anyone's feelings and will say whatever they are thinking. When we are the messenger it is important to try to deliver the information with as much care as possible, but at the end of the day it is far more important to the receiver to hear the truth....

The words of Abraham Lincoln have been ringing in my ears for some time now, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." The words spoken were brought about because of the divide in our country over the topic of slavery. Our country was divided from the colonial establishments in North America where the slaves were first brought in 1619. The practice grew and after the Revolutionary War, were we fought for our freedom, stipulations were drawn around what the term "all men" in the Declaration of Independence really meant. The Three-fifths Compromise was added to the Constitution. Some of the the most revered men in our countries history were flawed humans, like we all are, who made wrong decisions though they felt they were right. Our country grew but the division was still there. People turned a blind eye, or fought to make things right, or compromised while justifying their actions in their minds but not in their hearts. Then in 1858 Abraham Lincoln spoke these ...

Anyone who is a parent has probably had a time where they had to tell their kids they did something wrong. You reset expectations, say you are disappointed, and explain the behavior you expect. At no time do you ever stop loving your child. It is interesting how often today, if you are in a position of not agreeing with a decision or action you are automatically viewed as the enemy. If you are a fan of a sports team and don't like the decisions the coach is making there is a potential for people to attack you because you aren't a true fan.  In politics, no matter if you are conservative, liberal or moderate, if you criticize you are unpatriotic. If you don't agree with something your employer is doing, people want to know why you still work there.  Just because something isn't perfect, or not living up to the expectations we have, doesn't mean we love it any less.  We can demand better from our government leaders and still love our country. We can criticize decision...

One of the biggest shows on Netflix this year was The Queen's Gambit . It is a fascinating story about a child chess prodigy that has you on the edge of your seat watching the various chess matches. It is said that 62 million people watched the show, which quickly became an overnight sensation.  I love hearing the stories behind getting this show made as it is a great reminder of the realities of the world. As phenomenal of a show as it turned out to be, it took almost 30 years to finally get made. I can only imagine the feelings of the studios and others that passed over it or weren't able to get it made have after seeing the success it has had.  There are countless stories like this out there like this. Look at J.K. Rowling, she was rejected by 12 different publishers before someone took a chance on Harry Potter. There are two lessons here. The first, if you are in a position where you hear different ideas, it is important to be as open minded as possible. Nobody knows what ...

2020 was a heck of a year. I don't think anyone came out from the year thinking things were better for them than the previous one, that was certainly the case for me. I recognize that it became the year of the funk. It felt like the movie Groundhog Day far too often, not being able to tell one day apart from the next. Having to remind myself what day of the week it was. I was one of the lucky ones, my routine didn't change. I had my same job, still working from my home office, still able to support my family just like before. I should have nothing to complain about but as the year went on I could see myself falling further into the funk. When I look back on the year, I could see the elements that were missing that filled areas of my life. Elements that when missing the funk found its way in further.  Dance season is usually a time of competitions and recitals. Time interacting with other dance families over three to four day weekends. It was supposed to be a nationals year whic...