The Fire Within

I realized I use the term perfect storm a lot. I think of it when a complex set of variables all come true to create a low probability outcome. If any one variable had been different the outcome doesn't happen. The intended definition of perfect storm is a rare set of conditions happening. If it is supposed to be rare, I'm the unluckiest guy in the world based on the number of self proclaimed "perfect storms" I've been in. So maybe they aren't all perfect storms, but they are negative situations. Situations that arise because of a number of factors lining up to create the situation. Looking back on those times it is easy to look at it and say, "If only one of those factors had been different we wouldn't be in this predicament." Perfect storms hit us in all kinds of ways in our life. It doesn't have to be this monumental or impossible task to be able to track all of the variables to see the warning signs there is danger ahead. We say we only n...

The standard view of entrepreneurship is someone who starts businesses, taking on a higher level of the risk and therefore being entitled to more of the potential rewards. This idea of taking on the risks is interesting, because what is a risk to some people isn't true for others. Risk is like beauty, it is in the eye of the beholder. I believe someone who is a small business owner probably takes on more risk than an entrepreneur.  Entrepreneurs look to fill a gap they see in the marketplace. The often aren't the inventors, they are the people who see different inventions and advancements and can apply them to different situations. An entrepreneur is able to take a set of processes and apply them to a wide variety of businesses. They often look at how they can start different ventures with the least amount of risk. They aren't risk takers, they see the risks and figure out how to mitigate them. For some people the thought of opening their own business or being an entreprene...

You have likely been in a situation where your boss, teacher, or coach gave you a task or exercise which didn't really make sense. Your first thought is it feels like a waste of time and you immediately gripe to your friends, co-workers, or teammates. None of you can make any sense of it. You believe it will turn out as a disaster and secretly hope the whole thing blows up so you can confirm your dissenting view. We often don't have control of the things we are assigned, but we are in control of how we react to them. If you don't agree with something, rather than complaining maybe what you need to do is put all of your energy into figuring out how to make it work. It might turn out you were right and it was a disaster, but by putting your energy into making it work you are going to learn more and better understand where things fell apart. Even when we know something isn't going to work, we try anyway. There is a reason for the assignment you were given, you might no...

I feel like I have written about this topic before, but given our current situation in the world I think it can't be stated enough. The only things I should worry about are the things I can control. If I can't control it, no amount of worrying will change things so it is wasted energy. If I can control something there isn't any point in worrying, I should take action. I also realize that I don't have a lot of room to worry. We have been lucky in our house that our jobs haven't been impacted. Yes it has been annoying and there is a fear of what happens if we were to catch it, but when I think of people working in hospitals and other high risk jobs my problems pale in comparison. There is a big difference between a less than ideal day and a bad day. For most of us our days are less than ideal now. Life is too short to waste time worrying about things that aren't that big of a deal, even in the middle of a pandemic. Stay safe, be smart, but make the best of eac...

I was listening to episode 80 of the Jocko Podcast  and they were talking about being able to detach. This isn't about detaching as in pulling away and not interacting with another human being. It is about being in a heated situation and not getting caught up in the moment, keeping your cool to make rational decisions. Granted Jocko is a decorated Navy SEAL who later in his career was in charge of training new SEALs. He has been in engagements that make whatever your situation is trivial. The skill is useful to all of us even though we will likely never be in a combat situation. One of the best examples Jocko talked about was whenever his kids are fighting, he instantly detaches and steps in. He doesn't get emotional, he doesn't yell at his kids to stop fighting or else. He calmly steps in, assess the situation, gathers the facts and details needed, and quickly makes a decision.  Haven't we all been in a situation where we loose our cool? We look back on a situat...

I'm guessing you are a person who has to deal with other people in your life. I know there are a few people that choose to live a reclusive lifestyle, but chances are they aren't reading this. For the rest of us we have other people we deal with. Parents, children, spouses, co-workers, friends, family, classmates, teammates, and even the people you pass on the road or in a store. I did some quick research on interactions per day, and like any topic there were too many studies to count. Generally speaking it looks like the average number of interactions per person per day is between 10 and 25. I did a quick recap of my day and I counted 35 people I interacted with. Above average, but probably nothing compared to people that work in retail or customer service positions. However you count it we interact with a lot of different people. All of those interactions and all of those people lead to many opportunities for what I will call friction. Many interactions can be positive, b...

We have many words that we use to describe how we want people to behave at work and in life. We want people to be accountable, to be responsible, to take ownership or take the lead. Often I feel that gets misinterpreted as control. Take the word ownership, when we think we own something for some reason we think we can control it. If you own a business you are in charge, and there are pieces you can control. You can control who you hire and fire. You can control your pricing. You can control the features your product has. You have no control over how the people behave, if your customers like your product and if anyone will buy it. If you own a house you can control the temperature and the color of the walls but you can't control a storm breaking a window. If you own a car you can control how often you wash it but you can't control if someone hits you in the parking lot. Being accountable or responsible can be viewed in a similar fashion. It is important to find the right w...

There is a concept in personal finance coined by Dave Ramsey as the Debt Snowball. The concept is pretty simple, you make a list of all of your debts from smallest to largest and you pay the minimum required on each item except the smallest. You then make as large of a payment as you possibly can on your smallest debt until you have paid it off. Once it is gone you take everything you were paying, plus the amount paid for your second smallest debt and work towards paying it off. You continue until you are debt free. I did this earlier in my life when I had some credit card debt, a student loan, a car loan and my mortgage. First step was to make sure I had a budget so I didn't accumulate new debt. After that I was able to pay off everything but my mortgage in about 15 months. The key with the Debt Snowball is that you need to recognize there are mental games we can play to reward us and motivate us. The strategy isn't to identify the highest interest rate debt or which one g...

We talk all the time about how important ownership is in your job. You need to own the projects assigned to you, the things that you have control over. But the part we so often fail to recognize is that we have more control than we think we do, so we need to look beyond ownership and instead practice extreme ownership. I just finished Extreme Ownership: How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win  by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin. If the military interests you, this is a great book as each principle is told through a story from their time as SEALs, a short overview of the principle itself, and a story that applies the principle in business. The principles themselves though are tremendous. We need more of this thinking today. There is too much entitlement and feelings of, "What are you going to do for me?" Extreme ownership is about not making any excuses, not blaming anyone, not complaining, and never hiding the truth. If your manager isn't explaining why you are having to work on ...

I love how a single quote will resonate with me and connect with multiple areas of my life. I haven't read any books by Erwin McManus but words like this are enticing. What are the things that keep us captive and what is our freedom? For some it might be staying in a job we don't like because it pays the bills rather than taking a risk on a career change or starting your own business. It could picking your classes and career path based on what your parents or others of influence tell you. Some could be following the crowd rather than declaring who they are and accepting that not everyone may like them but that is okay. We get comfortable and complacent, slowing letting the days go by feeling unexcited and uninspired. We do our jobs even though there are things we know could be better, afraid that challenging the status quo could impact our position. Scared to speak up, following the processes given to us and responding, "That is how I was told to do it." The gre...

Now what? Two words I ask myself a lot and challenge others with. It is so easy to complain, whine really about how hard things are. Things are hard. Life is hard. All of us face conflicts and struggle with things, but most of the time the things we complain about aren't that big of a deal. Having to get a project done and seemingly not enough time to do it is is hard, but not as hard as not being able to find work to pay rent.  All of those challenges that you complain about, my question to you is, "Now what?" You know what the problem is, you can complain about it to anyone who will give you the time of day. The question is what are you going to do about it now? What actions are you going to take? What are you going to read or learn to improve your skills? How can you get more training? Who can you ask for advice or feedback on how to resolve your issue? When can you spend some extra time thinking about and solving a problem rather than binge watching your favori...

I need to reread Viktor Frankl's Man's Search For Meaning  as I've been reflecting on some of his quotes around choice and attitude lately. If you aren't familiar with Viktor Frankl he survived years in a Nazi labor camps, including Auschwitz, where his parents, brother and pregnant wife died. Out of a situation that most of us can't even truly grasp, he came out of it to give us words like this. You think about the things we complain about in our lives, and the things we feel have no control over, they are most often inconsequential. Yet we let these things control our thoughts and feelings. I realize that some of my core values in my life are based around lessons Viktor Frankl has given. I can't control what life throws at me, but I can control my attitude and how I react to the situations I'm in. It does no good to worry about things that I can't control. Most things we worry about in life aren't really that big of a deal. I get tha...

We are busy. Life can get hectic and there always seems to be more to do than there are hours in the day. When you feel like you are overwhelmed and there is nothing that you can do to get out of the hole you are in, know that you have complete control over the situation. Whenever it feels like we don't have enough time to do something, to do the things we know are necessary to get the job done, we are wrong. There is always more time in the day than we think, we just need to decide what we are spending our time on. Before I had kids I thought I was busy, 15 years and 3 girls later I laugh at my younger self. Kids schedules, running them here and there takes time, yet I still can find time for the things I want to do, just maybe not as often. Work is no different. There are things that have to be done but if we continue to look at them the same way nothing ever changes. There are a limited number of hours at work to get things done. How much time do you spend talking about thin...

I am watching as my children grow up and finding that one of the hardest things I've had to teach them is how to worry about the things that you can control. They are like most of us in that things others do or say can drive them nuts, including their parents and their sisters. It is a good opportunity to teach them about grace, forgiving someone even though it feels like they don't deserve it, but also to remind them of what they can and can't control. The things that we can control are the things we should be focusing on because the rest will just waste our time and energy, ultimately leaving us feeling more frustrated and angry. It is a good reminder for myself, because if I'm being honest, there are times that I do the same thing. We probably all do because we are only human. This graphic from Jon Gordon is a good reminder of where our focus should be. So much of our lives we can't control, but the parts that we do can make a huge impact. The choices we m...