The Fire Within

It is always hard when someone doesn't meet your expectations. You feel disappointed, annoyed, and angry, along with some other emotions I'm sure. It is always easy to blame the person that is falling short but I am finding as good a job as I think I'm doing communicating what my expectations are I probably wasn't as clear as I thought. When someone isn't meeting your expectations, here is a quick process to go through to have a better result the next time. Don't make them guess. If there is something you want but you never tell them, you can't expect them to just know. Did you actually say what your expectations are? Before you talk to them, make sure you know what it is you want for sure. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Ask the person why they aren't doing what you expect. Maybe there are some valid reasons that you haven't considered that is making it more difficult. Giving them a chance to express their view is important also, e

The subject of communication has come up a lot recently in our house. As my wife and I have been trying to help our kids understand how to communicate better it has reminded me how important it is in every area of my life. Some of the points we brought up with our kids: The words we use are only 7% of communication, the rest is body language and tone. What we say is as important as how we say it. If words are only 7%, you have to take extra time in communicating in an email, tweet, post, text or chat. People will read in tone and can easily change what you intended to say. Once our words are out, you can't take them back. It doesn't matter what your intentions are, it is how the other person feels about what you are saying that matters. The words that don't come out are as important as the words that do. The meditations of our heart impact what we say and how we act. Our words have power - power to build someone up or drag someone down. Never underestimate the influ

One of my all time favorite songs is from Switchfoot, in it there are a couple of lines that hit me every time I hear them: This is your life, are you who you want to be? This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be? If you aren't answering these questions with a yes, then what do you need to do differently? If you don't like your job, your roll, how people treat you or whatever aspect you don't like, you have the power to change it. Yes there are some things that you don't have any control over, but there is plenty that you do. Why not start with those and see where it takes you?

I was lucky enough to get my hands on an advanced copy of Jon Gordon's book coming out later this month, The Power of Positive Leadership . I'm a little over halfway through it but I can't recommend it enough if you are a coach, teacher, leader, manager or parent. Almost all of us fall into one of those categories. With so much negativity in the world today, each of us has an opportunity every day to bring a positive approach to life. I have always enjoyed Jon's books but this one might be my favorite. It is filled with practical guidance and encouraging stories that will lift your spirit and motivate you. You have more chance to impact the people and world around you than you can ever truly imagine. Check out powerofpositiveleadership.com  to find out more and download a sample chapter. You can also pre-order at Amazon .

I have been reflecting on my own career and some of the things that have been happening at my work recently and came to some realizations that I wasn't expecting. When things are getting challenging at work, or more importantly when I'm not performing at my best, a measure that correlates fairly closely is my level of fear. It could be the fear of losing a job, fear of screwing up, fear of letting down a teammate, fear of not delivering for a customer... you get the idea. There can be a lot of things that bring about fear in your job and in your life. The downside of fear is that it can start putting us into a downward spiral that can be hard to pull out of. When a mistake happens, or you don't deliver as needed, you begin to operate in a heightened state of awareness, which is good because we don't want to make the same mistake twice. But when we move past awareness and into a state of fear we start second guessing ourselves and probably making more mistakes. One o

You will never be successful if your method is to tear others down. Only worry about being the best you you can be. You will never be successful if you don't have a work ethic.  Desire without effort is just a dream. You will never be successful if you think you are better than your teammates. Nobody ever did it all by their self, intentionally letting down your team is the ultimate selfish act. You will never be successful if you think your coach/teacher/boss doesn't know anything. Be humble enough to know there is always something you can do better. Being successful doesn't mean being the best, what do you want your life to be? If you don't like how things are going, your place, your spot, the attention you get, etc. Start by looking in a mirror, chances are that is where the problem is, but even if it isn't I guarantee you that what you will find is the only thing you can actually control.