The Fire Within

I hate email. Which is kind of unfair, because my real issue is any type of communication when it is inefficient. Today we have so many different methods of communication. On a typical day at work I will get messages in email, Teams, Slack, Basecamp, three different service desk ticket systems, project tickets and issue logs. Every tool has its purpose and value. I work in a world with different clients and vendors who all have different preferences and tool sets. I don't really mind it. What never ceases to amaze me though is the number of times I will get a message in one medium asking if I saw a message in another.  Now, to be fair, I'm probably just as guilty as the next person. I can recall sending a Teams message to a developer asking if they saw the update in Basecamp and if they need me to create a Jira ticket for it. That is insane. Here are the rules I try to live by to hopefully make sure I'm not adding to the problem any more than is absolutely necessary. Other ...

I sure hope you weren't thinking as soon as the election was over things would get back to normal. We shouldn't be shocked by how things are going right now. And we shouldn't think things would be any different had the results gone the other way. Based on how close the election was in so many states it is clear how equally divided we still are. Where we go after the disagreement will tell us what our future is going to look like. Our country is an organization, like so many others. Like any organization it has conflicts and decisions to make. Not everyone is going to agree with every decision. Say you are launching a new product, some think it should be green, some think it should be orange. In most organizations, before you decide on the color, you have a discussion, listing the pros and cons for each choice and trying to make the best decision you can. When the company decides it is going to be green you have people that might not get behind the decision, waiting for the ...

I saw a short video recently from Charles Stanley in 1985 ( link ) that I think is tremendously relevant for today. He talked about how within the organization he was addressing there would be disagreements. From those disagreements, what would show the most as people looked into what transpired at their convention was how they disagreed.  In our organizations, schools, cities, workplaces, states, countries and in the world, we are going to have disagreements. How do we treat someone we disagree with? Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean they are evil. Just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean there isn't something you can learn from them.  How do you disagree with someone? Is it with yelling, taunting and degrading? Or is it with compassion, empathy and patience? It is impossible to move forward when you are playing tug-of-war. The first start in us pulling in the same direction it all about how we treat those we disagree with.

We all know that some times leaders don't have all of the answers. Each of us have been in situations where you basically feel like you are making it up as you go. You might be in one of those situations now, especially with how crazy and constantly changing this year is. With the health in our country the way it is we are probably dealing with a lot more work absences this year. Maybe you are a manager or a small business owner and you have an employee who you don't know when, or even if they are going to return. You have customers and co-workers that are relying on that person. You can't be certain of how things are going to transpire, but you have to make an effort to provide some clarity. If you don't that is when the rumors get started and frustrations come out as people talk and try to make sense of it. When people have no information from leaders it creates a vacuum which is quickly filled with whatever people can conjure up. I think one of the main qualities of ...

I wonder what it was really like during World War II in our country. Reading the history I know that most Americans opposed entry into the war until the attack on Pearl Harbor. Even after we were drawn into the war there were groups of people that opposed the war thinking Nazism was preferable to Communism as well as other more racist stances. Amidst all of that the overwhelming stories handed down were about the Greatest Generation and how everyone did their part, no matter how small, to support the war effort. Everyone knew that sacrifices had to be made, even the sacrifice of so many lives. I think about that generation, trying to understand how in 80 years it has become hard to find a similar spirit of unity. We are a divided country and I see no desire on either side to try to reconcile. The concept of evaluating the words you say before you say them has been lost with the anonymity of social media. Asking ourselves, "Is it helpful? Is it kind?" before speaking to someon...

Most of your interactions with people generally go in one of two ways, those that give you energy and those that suck the energy right out of you. The same person might do both depending on the circumstances. Anyone that is a parent knows this because there are times that your kids just lift you up and bring you so much joy. There are those times though they drive you to the point of demanding that your spouse find a babysitter for the night before you lose your mind. This is likely the case at work or school also where there are those people we struggle to be around when they get in a mood.  Have you ever wondered what type of a person you are to other people? When you are talking with someone and the conversation has you energized and motivated, have you ever wondered if the other person feels the same way? Communication is more than just the words we say. You can tell by someone's tone and their responses if they just want the conversation to be over with.  We have to remem...

One of the joys of having multiple children are the fights that inevitably happen. I have to admit it annoys me far more than it should. I know when I was younger I had dumb arguments with my sister or other kids too. I just want them to see what took me a long time to learn, how it doesn't do any good to dig your heals in and try to prove you are absolutely right and the other person is absolutely wrong. When you are in a disagreement with someone, if you want it to end you are going to have to find a compromise. Or at least reach an amicable end so nobody walks away bloody. To reach an agreement there are going to have to be concessions on both sides of the table. If you want to win, your actions typically escalate the tensions. If you want to de-escalate the tensions, if your goal is to actually resolve it, then maybe you will have to be the first to compromise. If you are arguing a point and end up proving yourself right, but in the process you humiliate the opposition you are ...

Does anyone else find it ironic we are dealing with a pandemic when our social medial culture talks so much about going viral? The number of people who have a hobby or even make a living trying to get TikTok famous is ridiculous. Frantically checking back on their posts to see how many likes they got. Seth Godin has talked for years about how ideas spread much like a virus. It doesn't matter if the ideas are good or bad, it is a matter of if you can get people to talk and share it. There are people that will try to share anything, just to get the likes and clicks. We all have a voice. We all have a choice on what words we share. If you went viral what would people catch from you?

I was reminded of a book by Seth Godin recently called All Marketers Are Liars . If you are in marketing those might be harsh words to hear but I would encourage you most of all to read it. The reason I've been thinking about it is because of some of the different messages I've been hearing lately. These messages are all stories. Everyone has a story to tell. Every person, every team, every company and every organization has a story. Everyone is in marketing trying to make their story sound as good as they possibly can. The issue is when you start manipulating the story. You are sharing feedback from the handful of customers that applaud a decision and ignoring the hundreds of complaints you've received. When you start altering the story so far from the truth, yet you've repeated the story to yourself so much you honestly believe it is the truth. We need to listen to our audience and we need to be authentic. If you don't like your story, don't make something...

I am convinced there are basically two styles of running a business.I'm going to speak in some extreme generalizations here, but stay with me. I know there are infinite ways to run a business and there are nuances within each of these groups, but I think you will agree with me. Businesses are either customer first or business first.  In a customer first business you adapt and change your business based on the needs of your customer. You gather feedback on how they feel, you listen to them, and you do everything you can to accommodate them. Of course you can't do everything they want, but then you explain it, you help them understand why things are the way they are. If you can't give a good explanation on a policy, you will change it. On the other side we have the business first organizations who act like the customer doesn't matter. There is an air about them of believing the customer should feel privileged to be paying them for their product or service. The ...

Work has been a little crazy for me in 2020 which has cut into my reading time in the evenings of late. I was fortunate however to finish reading Malcolm Gladwell's latest book, Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know about the People We Don't Know .  I've always been a big fan of Gladwell, his ability to tell stories and make you think is phenomenal. He is a story teller, but rather than writing fiction he takes real stories and can weave them together to present a concept you never realized was something you should think about. This book starts and ends telling the story of the arrest and death of Sandra Bland in 2015, which happened amidst the contentious race relations with police when it was at its peak around this time. Gladwell takes you through court transcripts and recordings of the interaction, to present a different way of looking at the situation. Not trying to prove who was right or wrong, just presenting all of the information that led to the unfortunate e...

We all know, if you live in a glass house you shouldn't throw stones. This is not a good analogy for how the world actually works. Yes, we all live in brittle glass houses, as the imperfect beings we are. But it isn't as simple as not throwing stones like we are a starting pitcher for the Yankees. We are going to get stones thrown our way, some intentionally, but like a rock hitting your windshield sometimes the circumstances are just right. If you've ever been cut from a team, lost a job, or been given some critiques on things you can do better, it isn't hard to feel like big stones aimed right at you. The fact is sometimes we need to be told things aren't good or need to be improved. It is easy to avoid having hard conversations because you don't want to throw stones. But it doesn't help the other person improve. I always tell people if they see something that I can do better, I want to know. It sucks to hear but I can't improve things unless I know...

There are times when changes need to be made, as a leader this is one of your most critical times and it will probably define if you are successful or not. It doesn't matter what the change is. It could be having to lay off a bunch of workers, bench your player that has started all year, or implement a new process or policy. The way you handle communication during those moments of transition are vital. The most common mistake people make, they think they are clear. They explained it once, sent out a memo or told their direct reports and told them to pass along the information. Whatever method you used I guarantee you it wasn't enough. Change is hard and you need to repeat the message to make sure it is clear, consistent and everyone is actually on the same page. The other factor that most often gets overlooked is how much people will talk to each other. You can end every email, speech and memo with an invite to ask any questions, yet people will talk to each other more than...

Too often I see managers, or people in a leadership position, avoid having a hard conversation. I get it, it is hard to be the person to tell someone they aren't performing or behaving in way they should be. When you finally do address the problem, did you do it in a way that was clear to the person? Do they really understand what they need to be doing differently? If you feel like you've had the conversation with someone multiple times and it seems like they still aren't getting it, the problem isn't with them, it is with you. You might think you've had the conversation, but you aren't clearly communicating it. The longer you let things go the more difficult the conversation becomes. If there is a problem, deal with it. If you have a water leak in your house, the earlier you address it the less damage you actually have to deal with. You can mop up the excess water, run a de-humidifier and maybe not have to spend a dime. But ignore it, hope it goes away or h...

I'm reading through  Legacy   by James Kerr and there was a part talking about stories that reminded me how much I enjoy a good story. The best business books I've ever read all have an element of good story telling to them. Nobody wants to read a text book. We learn and engage better with stories. The best speakers are those that tell great stories. Stories are a foundation in our culture. Most people think that their life is boring, they are a failure, or that nobody would care about their story. It isn't true though, your story just isn't finished. Every story has conflict, every hero has that moment where it seems like they are defeated and it is the end of the line. The key is that isn't the end of the story. It is at that moment that the hero has a choice to make. They can stay defeated, turn around and forget about the path they were on because it looks too hard. Or, they can find the strength to move forward, learn from the defeat and turn the tragedy into...

My daughter is 15 and we are going through that right of passage in learning to drive a car. It has been a challenging learning experience, a few rough spots but I think I'm getting better at it, because I'm starting to learn more about her along the way. You see the biggest challenge hasn't been in teaching her to drive, the biggest challenge has been figuring out how to be a better teacher for her. My only experience as a driving instructor is my own driving experience. It is so much different than hers. I grew up on a farm driving lawn mowers, tractors and even my dad's truck from when I was probably 10 or 11 years old. When I was old enough to drive a car on the road it was a formality. Contrast that with her experience of a go cart track a couple times in her life. When I navigate roads I know names, numbers, north, south, east and west. When I tell her that Madison runs parallel and south of 14, I am pretty sure I sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. We all...

Words are a funny thing. A word can have multiple meanings, like mine (it's mine vs. dig coal in a mine), organ (instrument or body part) or date (fruit, calendar day or person you are going out with). Words can change meaning over time like how tweet used to just be the sound a bird made. Words can even mean different things to different groups of people, if I say something is lit it will mean something very different to my daughter than it would to my mother. Definitions of words can be a funny thing too. People don't often look up the words they use and yet often we have definitions in our heads that don't match what is in the dictionary. This happened to me recently in a conversation where we were talking about humility. When you look up the word humility in the dictionary it is, "a modest or low view of one's own importance." That is very different then what I always thought of embodied in C.S. Lewis' quote, "A truly humble man will not be thin...

We've been doing some research lately looking at Agile Software Development to improve how we manage our workload. I've written before about communication and its importance so in reading through some things words like individuals, interactions, communication, collaboration and teamwork really stuck out to me. Agile emphasizes the importance of face-to-face interaction. Even in this day with distributed work forces across the world they suggest web-cams, it isn't as great as actually face-to-face, but it is better than an email. We are so reliant on technology today, not that technology is a bad thing, we just need to understand its role. Studies are starting to show that the open office concept is actually shutting down face-to-face conversations. ( Article ) I would be willing to bet the amount of innovation and strategy is higher when you are gathered around a white board rather than reading through a never ending email chain. Someone should do a study on that. I look ...

As a manager, as a parent or as a leader, it is easy to feel like we have to repeat ourselves. Having that feeling that we've talked about this before and being a little disappointed that you are telling them the same thing again. It really shouldn't surprise us though, how many times do we ourselves have to hear something before it sinks in? If you are working on changing a culture or building a skill in your team expect to repeat yourself. Different people learn differently so some might get it during the team meeting you share with the group, some might get it during a one-on-one conversation and some might need to read the handout for themselves. Individuals have other things going on in their life too, struggles with a sick child, an ailing parent or some other dynamic that takes focus off of their work. Maybe everything doesn't click for them until the outside distractions subside and they hear it from you again two months from now. It is interesting how we talk a...

This is an over-simplification, but people fall into three general buckets. Whether we are talking about customers, employees, students or any team members you lead. Happy - They are satisfied with your leadership and they like their position or status within the tribe. Things aren't perfect but they feel like they are listened to and you will try to make things better for them. Obviously you want to have everyone in this area, but know that it will never actually happen. Frustrated - There are levels of frustration ranging from the person that is calmly talking about why they aren't happy to the person that is so frustrated that they anyone that will listen. If they feel heard something productive can come from this. Don't Care - They have given up on you. The employee that just shows up and does the bare minimum. The player on the team that never gives their best effort. The customer that really wants to leave but can't find a better alternative but they've g...