The Fire Within

When things are going well, you feel great, your confidence is soaring. Confidence leads you to be more energized, bringing high energy usually causes things to go well. Positive energy is a real thing. The more you have the more you send out, the more it comes back to you. But as things are going well it is easy to fall into a trap. Feeling like you have King Midas' touch and you can do no wrong, you start getting cocky and missing things. You can topple very quickly from that mountain top you are on if you aren't careful. When things aren't going well for you, you feel miserable. You feel like everything that can go wrong does. Your confidence wanes with every misstep and problem you face. You become hesitant, overanalyzing every decision and second guessing yourself, expecting your next decision to end in failure causes you to make none. You are caught in a spiral, trapped in a low pit with no way out. Be confident not cocky. Humble but not timid. It is inevitable you wi...

There is an old saying in business, the customer is always right. Ask anyone in business though and you know the customer in fact is not always right. The customer wants what they want, but that doesn't make them right.  Since that saying doesn't work people have tried to come up with ways of saying the customer isn't always right. A number of years ago I heard someone giving a talk and they said the customer isn't always right, but the customer is always true. What they tell you is the truth, or at least what they want you to believe is the truth. I've been in a number of interactions with customers where they state something wrong. It isn't always a lie, sometimes people forget. It might not be intentional but it isn't the truth so that can't be right either. At the end of the day the fact remains the customer wants what the customer wants, and if they don't get what they want they can always take their business elsewhere. Does that mean a business...

Just because you passed the last test you aren't guaranteed to have the same success on the next one. Yet you always have winners that get cocky. The hare stops to take a nap because it expects to win, and we know how that turned out. I see this in dance with my girls, they often compete with others groups from our own studio or see the same studio and dancers at another competition. How they placed last time doesn't mean anything. You have different judges and different levels of performance. Finding success in the past should encourage you though. You know that you are capable of doing it, just need to recognize it isn't guaranteed. You still need to put in the work and effort that got you there last time. You might need to do even more because this time the competition recognizes you are the defending champ. Nothing in your past guarantees anything for the future. Past success doesn't guarantee future success anymore than past failures have no indication on if you wi...

One of the biggest shows on Netflix this year was The Queen's Gambit . It is a fascinating story about a child chess prodigy that has you on the edge of your seat watching the various chess matches. It is said that 62 million people watched the show, which quickly became an overnight sensation.  I love hearing the stories behind getting this show made as it is a great reminder of the realities of the world. As phenomenal of a show as it turned out to be, it took almost 30 years to finally get made. I can only imagine the feelings of the studios and others that passed over it or weren't able to get it made have after seeing the success it has had.  There are countless stories like this out there like this. Look at J.K. Rowling, she was rejected by 12 different publishers before someone took a chance on Harry Potter. There are two lessons here. The first, if you are in a position where you hear different ideas, it is important to be as open minded as possible. Nobody knows what ...

Ownership, accountability and responsibility. I'm not going to attempt to break down the differences in these words and what they actually mean. When you hear those three words it is easy to get a picture in your mind the concept I'm talking about.  You are either the type of person that wants more of it or the person that avoids it. As a manager we want to find and promote the people that exhibit it.  The problem is how hard it is to find and evaluate. Anyone can tell you stories in an interview of their responsibilities, how they took ownership of something or how they were accountable in a situation. I see so many people that get into a situation though and they begin to shrink from accountability, responsibility and ownership.  It might be hard to interview a person to determine those qualities, but it becomes very easy to judge someone on them. Just as I didn't have to define the words for you to know what they meant, people will evaluate you and will know who you ar...

Every organization has a culture. Some cultures are very defined, extremely clear to see what it is they stand for. Other cultures are less defined. It might seem there is a clear definition the heart of it is usually just about an organization that is built to feed the ego of the owner or head of the organization. You see this in departments or companies where every person that has a good idea is let go and only those who submit and cater to the leader are allowed to stay. Building a culture is one of the single most important things any organization can do to be successful. A culture is not just what is important to the leader, it is about what is important to the employees and to the customers. Strong cultures exist when all parties understand and support the culture. It is believed at every level, not just at the top. Patrick Lencioni says, "An organization has to institutionalize its culture without bureaucratizing it." This is what so many organizations get wrong. You h...

I saw a short video recently from Charles Stanley in 1985 ( link ) that I think is tremendously relevant for today. He talked about how within the organization he was addressing there would be disagreements. From those disagreements, what would show the most as people looked into what transpired at their convention was how they disagreed.  In our organizations, schools, cities, workplaces, states, countries and in the world, we are going to have disagreements. How do we treat someone we disagree with? Just because you don't agree with someone doesn't mean they are evil. Just because someone has a different opinion doesn't mean there isn't something you can learn from them.  How do you disagree with someone? Is it with yelling, taunting and degrading? Or is it with compassion, empathy and patience? It is impossible to move forward when you are playing tug-of-war. The first start in us pulling in the same direction it all about how we treat those we disagree with.

In my last post about bike riding , I talked about when you are first learning to ride a bike you have to figure out how to go in a straight line. As we progressed in our bike riding proficiency we realize that going straight is important, but just the start. Once you learn how to maintain balance and keep it straight, you have a whole new set of challenges. Those challenges and how to deal with them contain more lessons for us. The first thing you need to do is learn how to stop. I swear every kid I've ever known, no matter how many times you tell them how to stop their bike, when they start going where they don't want to the feet go down. Pedals get tangled with feet, falls happen, things escalate quickly. You have to learn how to break safely, when you get into a situation that isn't safe you need to slow down or stop. If you don't know how to break things can get very dangerous. In life we have to learn to recognize when we need to slow down or even stop. People c...

I am convinced there are basically two styles of running a business.I'm going to speak in some extreme generalizations here, but stay with me. I know there are infinite ways to run a business and there are nuances within each of these groups, but I think you will agree with me. Businesses are either customer first or business first.  In a customer first business you adapt and change your business based on the needs of your customer. You gather feedback on how they feel, you listen to them, and you do everything you can to accommodate them. Of course you can't do everything they want, but then you explain it, you help them understand why things are the way they are. If you can't give a good explanation on a policy, you will change it. On the other side we have the business first organizations who act like the customer doesn't matter. There is an air about them of believing the customer should feel privileged to be paying them for their product or service. The ...

I recently hit a milestone at work, I was a part of launching my first project, it was a great feeling after 232 days, not that I was counting. Is that success? The client said it was one of the smoothest launches they had been a part of. Is that success? I haven't been laid off from my job yet. Is that success? I know I talk a lot about success, and how we can all find more success. I am always looking for the little tips and ideas to find every 0.0001% I can find in every area of my life to be a better employee, teammate, father, and husband. When we are striving for better we are finding success. Getting better, finding ways to improve in every little way will lead to success. People will always have different definitions of what success looks like, to me success is showing forward progress.  When you think about failure it isn't about the first mistake, it is about repeating the mistake and never correcting enough to show forward progress. The rookie on the team isn...

The game of chess is fascinating, it is really quite simple in concept, yet it can be extremely complex and nuanced. I myself know how to play chess, but I'm not very good at it. The great players can see 20 or more moves ahead as they calculate out their strategy. I'm probably in the 2-3 moves ahead if I'm lucky. Beyond the game itself, the concept of chess is one that is well known. In sports or business, someone that is good at planning and seeing multiple steps ahead is referred to as a chess master. What I've been noticing a lot lately is how we often talk about things like it is checkers, when in reality it is more like chess. For instance, I've been working on framing my basement. The concept is pretty simple, nail some 2x4's together so they are 16 inches apart and secure it into place. Easy to understand, but it takes time to measure and level and square up everything. There are details much deeper than the initial concept you have to know. I also not...

I write a lot about the need to learn on this site. I believe it is important to push ourselves, learn new things and get out of our comfort zones. I know this because people have always proven they are capable of far more than we give them credit for. A team that doesn't perform very well suddenly finds a way to play their best game and knock off the undefeated team. We all like a good underdog story and I believe there is an underdog in all of us. On the flip side though, I also believe that each person is made with their own set of unique talents and gifts. We also have our own set of weaknesses and fears. Working together in the right mix is what creates success. The teams you see who are successful generally have a common trait that they are first and foremost a great team. The recognize that having one all-star isn't going to make them successful. They need a team they can surround themselves with that compliment their strengths and cover up for their weaknesses. Michae...

One of my all time favorite business books is Good To Great by Jim Collins. I have read all of his books and recently finished a short addendum to this called Turning The Flywheel . This was apparently what they call a monograph, a term I was unfamiliar with until reading this short 37 page gem. It was a reminder of how we often set definitions around things, like books and how they have to conform to a certain structure. The lesson is to deliver your product in the form that fits, not what culture tells you to be right. The real takeaway I got from this book is from the last paragraph. Good to Great is never done. The moment you think of yourself as great, your slide to mediocrity will have already begun.  A simple but powerful message. Seek greatness, but be humble enough to know you are never great. Think of it as a journey and not a destination. Companies, people, coaches, players and artists are great when others describe them as such, but rarely are great when they desc...

Many of you have probably seen this video that is making the rounds on the Internet. A little boy trying to break a board, fails, repeatedly, then succeeds. Watch it because it is worth a minute of your time. Failure + Perseverance = Success pic.twitter.com/Nv7Lr2ifzR — Michael Loftman (@michael_loftman) May 13, 2019 There are so many lessons here: Sometimes things are hard - don't quit because you will miss out on the joy once you actually accomplish your goal. You are going to want to quit - You will get sad, mad, angry and frustrated. Those feelings are real, persist in spite of them. When you see a friend/teammate/co-worker struggling with something, cheer them on, encourage them, they need your support. I love the one boy in front at the beginning, when he falls down he grabs him and pulls him back up. When someone succeeds, cheer for them. Loudly. Like you want to be cheered for when you accomplish a goal. Notice how there aren't any parents that step i...

As we journey through life we can look forward, look backwards or look around at where we are. You need to do all three, and one is not more important than the other. You need to look back. It is valuable to see how far you've come. If you only focus on the future and where you want to go you can get discouraged, forgetting that even though you aren't where you want to be you are still farther than where you were. You need to look at where you are. We need to be present, enjoying the moments and relationships of each day. Being ready to seize the opportunities of the moment that present themselves. If we are only focusing on the future or the past we miss the life that is right in front of us. We need to look forward. You can't be content with how far you've come. You have a goal of where you want to go, you can't be content with how far you've come if you still haven't reached your destination. If you are looking to go from LA to New York, if you are ...

A statement said and heard often in our house lately is you perform as you practice. Whether it is at school, dance or at cheer we try to emphasize how important every practice is. It is so easy to get bored with the grind of the practice, waiting for the excitement and adrenaline rush that comes from the actual performance, in front of a crowd. Champions are made based on the performance, but that performance is made based on the practice. Practicing at school or at work is no different. Every homework assignment is practice to prepare you for the performance of the test. At work every project or code release, no matter how insignificant or low risk it seems is an opportunity to hone your craft. If you want to be the best, learn to love the grind of the practice. Learn to love all of the details, the exercises, the little things that you drill over and over again until they become second nature. When you practice at an elite level the performance will take care of itself. You don...

When you ignore the times the Internet seems to be one flame war after another you can find those great moments when you discover something really interesting. Recently I learned a little about Derek Sivers, an entrepreneur who has started a number of businesses over the years helping to reshape the music industry. He now is focused on helping people build companies in a number of foreign countries. What really got me thinking is a couple of his quotes about customers. Care about your customers more than about yourself, and you'll do well. - Derek Sivers I've seen businesses go to a point of not caring about their customers at all with their actions and they don't even know it. They think they do, but when customers try to tell them that they aren't happy they try to explain away their actions with what they've convinced themselves are legitimate good reasons. All the while their customer base shrinks as they go to the competition or other alternatives. We ne...

After watching Clemson win the National Championship I am reminded how much I love Dabo Swinney. Listening to the man speak and reading his quotes you can tell how much he cares for his players and just how unified they are as a team. There is something special and unique about the culture they have, something that very few teams have. It got me thinking about how some teams are families and what the word family means. I see Clemson football as a family. Often you see a correlation between the degree with which you are family and the level of success you achieve. All teams are not families though. It can be true for more than just sports teams too. You can have companies or organizations that have a culture of a family. You can also have blood relatives but not have a family but have close friends that you think of as a brother or a sister.  Relatives, co-workers and teammates are people you have a relationship with. But to find success, it is about moving beyond having a re...

This is my favorite week of work for the year, between Christmas and New Years. I'm not a huge fan of the holidays with all of the traveling and family dynamics, things can get pretty crazy. But at work it is just the opposite, so many people take the week off that I'm free to set my own agenda. Very few meetings are scheduled, if any. Fewer people around mean fewer problems to find and solve. It means four days of getting caught up because not as much new stuff coming in. It means getting to organize and clean up task lists, hopefully crossing a few nagging ones off. It also is a time where I do more reflecting on strategy. What are the things I'm going to focus on in the new year? What areas do I need to work with in my team this year? What didn't we accomplish that we still need to? What needs to happen to set things up for the greatest chance of success? Taking time off to refresh and recharge is a good thing, but I want to take time off when I am actually in ne...

In sports there is a clear objective, to win the game. At times you see it where a good team will lose a game they shouldn't because they are off, they aren't playing the way they normally do. They aren't playing to win the game, they are playing not to lose. Their style changes to a prevent defense, slow down the game, control things and hope that time runs out on their opponent making a comeback. A team might get some wins that way, but you are never going to win a championship playing not to lose, you need to play to win. Many of us play not to lose every day. In school we look at what we need to do to pass, not what it takes to get an A. At work we try to not lose our jobs. We do what is required or asked of us but don't go out of our way to find the things that can deliver above and beyond. Our companies look to maintain market share, playing it safe rather than looking at ways to take risks to gain ground on our competition. We guard ourselves in our relationsh...