2020 - The Year Of The Funk

2020 was a heck of a year. I don't think anyone came out from the year thinking things were better for them than the previous one, that was certainly the case for me. I recognize that it became the year of the funk. It felt like the movie Groundhog Day far too often, not being able to tell one day apart from the next. Having to remind myself what day of the week it was. I was one of the lucky ones, my routine didn't change. I had my same job, still working from my home office, still able to support my family just like before. I should have nothing to complain about but as the year went on I could see myself falling further into the funk.

When I look back on the year, I could see the elements that were missing that filled areas of my life. Elements that when missing the funk found its way in further. 

Dance season is usually a time of competitions and recitals. Time interacting with other dance families over three to four day weekends. It was supposed to be a nationals year which would have meant a week vacation in Wisconsin Dells going between water parks and dances. All of that was gone.

Our usual Sunday routine has changed from being with like minded individuals in worship to watching a YouTube video in our pajamas. The crossroad of American politics with the American church in 2020 created a disillusionment for me that provided a greater opening for the funk to settle in. 

I don't have to travel a lot for my job, but I probably would have had a half dozen or so trips throughout the year. Zoom meetings are great, but having a few days out of the year where you have a chance to grab lunch or a drink with co-workers face to face fills a void.

Family events were cancelled, which I know is the right thing to do for their safety and my families. But those times together of laughter and conversation fills a part of our lives that a social media post can't fill.

The most telling indicator of my funk I was in all year was the fact I only finished reading one book in 2020. Typical years for me are somewhere in the 12-18 range.

All of these changes caused the funk to come in, more than I realized or acknowledged as the year went on. This caused me to take a break from writing. I felt uninspired. When I would think about writing it made me angry, sad and depressed. One of the things I always felt about myself was that I was a positive person. The intent of this blog is to inspire both myself and readers. I haven't reread much of what I wrote in 2020 for fear of what I will find. I can recall the emotions I had and the things I wanted to write. I'm worried to see what actually ended up on the page. So I stopped writing thinking I'm putting the wrong parts of me out there.

It is easy to find yourself in a funk. We all go through it from time to time. I was able to recognize where I was when I stopped writing and asked myself why. It helped me to realize where I was and get myself out of it. I know I need to get back to writing to keep myself from returning to the funk, but I need to focus on keeping all areas of my life strong to keep myself out of the funk.

For those out there that are still in the funk, there is hope. If this has helped you in any way, maybe just by lighting a spark, I hope you reach out to me or someone else that cares about you. There are people everywhere that are waiting to give you the encouragement you need. You just need to change how you are hearing things.